Some April Fools to watch out for in Michigan this weekend
Andrew Norton
On a lighter note and since it is Friday I put together a list of some "April Fools" you might need to be aware of here in Michigan. Don't get taken in by them now, you hear?
- Jennifer Granholm personally solves the state budget crisis by selling the U.P. to Canada.
- State highway workers eliminate all of our potholes by filling them in with the millions of "old blue" license plates that have been retired.
- Dick DeVos sells off his Alticor stock to invest in a new bio-fuel car manufacturer that plans to build cars that are fueled by politicians. Apparently the cars will run on hot air and empty promises. I'm not sure how many miles to the gallon they'll get but this fuel supply should never run out (unfortunately).
- The University of Michigan has decided to change its nickname from Wolverines to the Sharks. It is an homage to Greg Norman (nicknamed the Shark) and the fact that like Greg Norman, they seem to choke in big games. Plus, there is no scientific proof that wolverines ever existed in this state so why keep living the lie, right?
- As part of the celebration of the 50th Anniversary of the opening of the Mackinac Bridge, Jennifer Granholm has proposed an entry fee for the 2007 Labor Day Bridge Walk. Our governor thought it would only be fitting for the fee to be $1 for each year that the bridge has been open for a nice round figure of $50.
- It appears that the proposed amusement park in Grayling will indeed receive state funding. The backers of the amusement park have agreed to help the state save money on its prison system by creating "Prison Break Adventure" and staffing the park with current prison inmates. A source from Lansing calls it "a win-win situation."
- For every home run that new Tiger player Gary Sheffield hits this year at Comerica Park, Tigers owner and Little Caesars boss, Mike Ilitch will give a Hot-N-Ready pizza to each fan in attendance.
- Speaking of Comerica - rumors abound that Comerica bank officials have had a change of heart about moving their headquarters to Texas. Governor Granholm and our state legislature worked a last minute deal with them to encourage Comerica to remain in Michigan. In addition to some extensive tax breaks thrown their way, they also get to run Chrysler.
Have a Great Weekend and watch out for any April Fools' Day pranks!